Should I tell her?

[oldernow]

I love grannies on the thin side. Just love em I do!

Early 60's to early 70's, 5'-9 tall, blond hair and around 120 to 130 lbs is the absolute biggest turn on.

For six months I've been flirting with one, she is exactly as described above, and I know she is very interested but I am married and will remain faithful but not because I am a prude (I am not) but my wife has big time medical issues and I could not bear being caught and bringing her the kind of pain it would cause at this time. After all the years of putting up with me, being a wonderful wife and worlds best mother, I won't disrespect her at the time she needs me most.

I think most of you understand.

Thing is I know in a year, two at most, I will be single again and I am wondering if I shouldn't mention this, just in way of passing conversation, so she knows why I don't pursue her further then I have.

She, my granny, is probably around 62 years old, has a rather low end job but she always dresses real well, always in a dress or skirt, always in nylons, high heels, jewelry and I can tell she has a love for real sexy undies just by catching a glimpse of her bra when she leaned over a counter once. She wasn't showing off it was just an innocent bend over. A couple times in the summer she wore a sheer dress and I could tell she goes for high cut panties...yummie...

And she likes wearing perfume. Always smells like a lady.

We've talked a bit, we flirted a bit but I never led her on to believe I wasn't married. With all the other stress I really needed what she has given me so far. It is an escape, if only for a few minutes twice a week, from an otherwise horrible situation.

By flirting and thinking of someone else before my wife is gone showing disrespect? I don't think so and let me explain. I've been married a long time and I have always loved being married. I can not imagine living as a single and I know deep inside I'll probably be married within 6 months of my wife's passing. My wife has always made me love being married so I don't view my desire to be married again as disrespectful.

So, should I mention I am married and my wife's condition or just wait?

[blackman]

This is a difficult situation. Here's what you do. Ask your wife, should you persue a love interest, while she is in apparenyly poor health. Ask her would she be upset if you started a relationship. Sexual/non-sexual. I understand your point of view. You don't want to hurt her. Find out, does she want you to wait till she passes on. Or, just wait for what little time you to have left. I know this maybe difficult, but, it's best to clear the air. She may, feel a little disappointed. Not with you, but, with herself. Being that she is ill. Not being able to satisfy your needs, in a way that you desire. She may wonder who this other woman is. If so, introduce her. I'm not sure of the age difference, but, at least this will provide some type of closure for all. If she see's that your interested in this other individual, she might tell you to go and be happy. That doesn't mean to abandone your wife altogether. Keep your wife in the picture, until it's time. When she does pass, at least you know she departed, knowing you were happy and you weren't left all alone. As far as the other woman, she has to let you grieve your lost, and give you space and time. She should understand. She still should be in your corner. You have my sympathy on this. "big time". I hope everything turns out positive with you and this other woman, when mentioning to it to your wife. Others here, may be piss at me, for telling you to tell your wife. So, i'm ready to be thrown into the lion's den. Hope to hear from you and others. Take care and wish you the best.

[CrazyC]

That's a tough one. I've lived the same situation 2 years ago. The emotions it brings with it and the constant questioning myself I was doing it right almost made me go down myself. Had to be strong for the kids (who are probably a bit younger than yours since I was only 31 when it happened) and for my wife. To me it felt like I was completely ignoring myself sometimes. At that particular time I didn't even think about flirting with other women. I didn't felt like it and I just didn't had the time to do so. That's where you have a different way of dealing with it. I thought a lot about a future without her, which was inevitable. Talked a lot about it too. Still I wanted to make her life as good as it could be and therefore putting myself aside was not even a thing I had to think about. I had to be true and real to her. For her sake but also for my own peace of mind. I think, and that's just me ofcourse, you have to be honest to yourself. Do you think you have to talk to her about it? No one here knows your exact situation so it's pretty hard to have a statement about it. The only thing I can tell you is that you have to follow your heart in this matter so afterwards you have no regrets. If the way you're situation is right now raises a lot of questions, you have to ask yourself if it really doesn't feel like being untrue. You say that your wish to get married again isn't disrespectful to you but that's not where you are right now. Your wife is still here and my gut feeling tells me that as long as she is, that's the person to put your efforts and attention in. What happens afterwards are things you shouldn't be thinking of right now. But that's just my opinion. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I was flirting with other women knowing my wife is at home lying in her bed getting weaker and weaker. On the other hand, if you have these feelings and they are that strong, you have to talk about it.
A life motto I have is: I hate regrets more than apologies. That means being honest to the people around you but especially to yourself. If you have the feeling you're being selfish, then be open about it.

I wish you good luck and wisdom in this matter...

CC

[tomlg1]

Why dont you enjoy the time with your wife while she is alive and conteplate things like that after!!!!!

[Russ963]

I think you should keep it even and not mentioned it cause it may go down the drain - your wife has got enough problems and this granny may feel like she been played - just talk to this granny but dont fuck her until you lose your guilt - and stick to your wife and love her with the time she has left - but if you dont fuck this granny she might be wondering when you gonna enter her snatch?- so if this keeps up you may need to tell this granny and keep a smile on you face and dont mentioned it to your wife

[johnholmes]

I wouldn't.