The Granny Next Door (HELP)

[zoop187]

Ok, i'ma try to be brief.

I've come back home (parents house), they're going on holiday this Summer - i've got a free house. There's this lady living over the garden wall (late 60's, widowed for 2/3 years now) - you guessed it, i wanna shake her bones.

She's nearly always milling arround in her garden, talks to both my folks over the wall a fair bit. But whenever i've been arround i NEVER speak to her. (which is insane, because recently i've pretty much incorporated her into my sex fantasy).

She smokes, seems like a laid back grandmother type - but i've never broken the ice with her, so i've gotta get over that hurdle first.

Some one spoon feed me, how do i strike up convo with her and ultimately how do i get to fuck her or at least touch her? Yeah, i know - i'm blunt with it.

HELP!!

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PS: If your help leads to some kind of victory, i will strive to get photos!

[Bacopa]

Key to success with grannies is luck and numbers. Your neighbor may be the object of your fantasies, but things just might not be in the cards. Talk to her, get to know her, ask her questions about her life. Offer to make a few household repairs. Does she need new roof vents? Here in the US raccoons will take up residence in attics if roof vents are not up to par.

Get to know her. Find out her favorite foods and take her on a picnic. If you become friends and she wants sex it will happen. If she doesn't you've had a pleasant time with an attractive older woman and when the next one comes along you will do better. Meet more older women. I've had luck with library discussion groups.

[zoop187]

Thanks for the input Bacopa, so I've got to go through the rigmarole of talking and making friends with her, before taxing her. Damn. Do you think it would be too direct for me just to tell her that i think she's attractive.... she knows me by name and all that, it's just i don't conversate with her.

Also i'm kinda dubious about library groups - it's not very inkeeping with my age, might get arrested lol.

Still open to suggestions. Cheers

[MaverickMitchell]

Hi zoop187. You've got to be bold, but I don't mean say outrightly that you want to fuck her (not yet lol). I mean be bold to approach her and start conversations. The only possibly bad thing is she speaks to your parents. She may not want to embarrass herself by sexing you, if your parents find out.

But you don't know that yet, so continue to be bold and talk to her. Imagine you're smooth like James Bond... act like James Bond... be James Bond... and talk to her. You will find out a few things about her if you do :)

[finest1]

if you want to break the ice, just speak to her, and tell her you've moved back at home. do you remember her when you used to live there? if so tell her, and tell her you're sorry to hear of the passing of her husband. thats it, then its easier to talk to her next time. but u must work on it in stages. so that's stage 1

[ryanglade]

i have the same problem you should buy her a pack of ciggs or ofer her a light and you two can smoke and chat

[ryanglade]

you said she is always in her garden, you can offer to help her and get sweaty. you both can take a water break and wile you are siting in her kitchen get a boner and make it noticeable. she will see it and be surprised. start giving her complements and flirt. escort her to the bed room and do your stuff. being that you are neighbors you will have to keep it a secret and she will grow on to you. you will have to fuck her anytime she wants or you might get told on

[Secretchick]

get a boner and hope she notices it ???

when I have photographers round the last one said to me did you see how aroused I was Dee while taking your pics I replied no didnt even look there.

start talking to her share a ciggy ask if she wants anything from the shops offer to drive her to the super market then mention things about how young she looks compared to other elderly ladies

how pretty she is now and that she must have been a syunner in her teens ( she might offer to show you photo albums )

ask her would it bother you if I told you I find you very attractive test her like that see how the land lies and then dont just pounce try may I kiss you gently does it

[MaverickMitchell]

Yes, take it from a woman... SecretChick knows better than us men. I bet you will woo her using her advice! :)